February 5

Just think about it. How many of your classmates at school were remotely bearable?
In a class of 30, you might have known 10 decent folk.
Granted, Undercoverdad was privileged to be part of the legendary Form 2B, so the numbers are thrown off kilter somewhat.
Anyway, the high incidence of quality humans present in the 2B population was dramatically offset by the 'higher band' Form 2A - entirely peopled by misfits, freaks, dorks and gumbies.
Yes, they had memorised every variant of every freakin' latin verb known to ancient civilisation, but could they do their own flies up?
No, they couldn't.
While you were out busily trying to consume your own body weight in cheap farm cider on the railway embankment, they were relaxing at home with a laminated logarithm chart and a set of lovingly sharpened HB pencils. All exactly the same length.
The point is, these people - the 2A population if you will - are, by and large, all still out there in the world.
They are quite legally producing kids, working and pestering their local government offices for rebates over renewal rubbishing.
The percentages are still roughly the same.
Same number of Form 2B kids, same number of Form 2A.
What is more, David Attenborough and Ben Fogle have proved irrefutably, beyond doubt and for sure that the Form 2A kids who you knew will now be cohabiting and procreating with the Form 2A kids who I knew.
They will have been drawn together by some cosmic mating force - either that or there was no-one left to dance with at the local disco - and are now producing a mutant strain of Form 2A ultra-dork.
So the issue is only going to get more pressing for Superkid and his generation.
It is already one of the most irksome problems troubling genetic scientists and migration experts today and is one of the reasons why Chinese people are under such pressure to produce the right sort of kid at the right time and in the right order.
Or something.
All I'm saying is please don't be unduly perturbed when you walk in and out of school every morning and virtually nobody says hello to you.
It's just a matter percentages.